A Mentor and a Missionary

Recounting his experience as a student missionary in Peru, a junior at Union College in Lincoln, Nebraska, United States, was quoted in the Central Union Reaper regional church publication in October 1971 saying, “You must win them over with your love. You must come with the attitude of wanting to learn, not feeling that you have everything to offer them.” A decade later, that student returned to the Adventist-operated school as an employee, claiming his alma mater as his mission field. Alumni of the last 35 years will recognize in those words the leadership style of a man they learned to love as a listener, learner, counselor, and friend.

Officially, he is Richard Carlson, vice president for spiritual life and associate professor of psychology and religion, but it is unlikely even he could tell you his full title without consulting the school’s personnel directory. To generations of Union students and alumni, he is simply “Pastor Rich.” And above any title, he will tell you his job is mentorship. “I love interacting with the kids, journeying with the students,” he says. “It’s been a joy and an honor.”

A Passion for Missions

In 1971, Carlson told the Central Union Reaper that, “A thousand years of school can never equal the experience of mission service.” As chaplain at Union, he has encouraged thousands of students to take their lessons from the classroom to communities next door and around the world as they learn through service.

Through his leadership, Union has sent 617 student missionaries around the world, and 85 task force workers to Adventist organizations within the United States. His continued involvement in student missions reaches past Union’s Campus Ministries and extends to visiting and supporting student missionaries on behalf of the North American Division.

Emily Segura remembers the joy of having a familiar face visit when she served in Guinea. “He came to Africa and met my host family, followed me around through my daily life of shopping in the outdoor market, teaching in my tiny school room, and eating rice with me,” Segura said. “You should have seen his excitement merely at presenting the gifts and letters from home and watching me open them. I appreciate his grandfatherly love and the empowerment he gives me to make my ‘what-ifs’ a reality.”

Carlson also recognizes the need for service closer to home. Project Impact began as Project BRUSH the year before he became Union’s chaplain, and under his leadership, Union’s annual event has become the nation’s largest and oldest collegiate volunteer event. From available research, no campus has a bigger event by percentage, and few have as many volunteers despite 10 to 20 times the enrollment.

“Service isn’t just a one-day event,” said Cainan Ming, who has been the student coordinator of Project Impact for the last two years. “I hope students get a sense of joy from helping others and will revisit the sites. I don’t want us just to take one day of the year; I want these service projects to continue.”

Beyond Project Impact, Union’s Campus Ministries organizes volunteer opportunities for students throughout the year, from regularly scheduled events to responding to last-minute desperate pleas from individuals and groups around the city of Lincoln.

Mentoring New Leaders

When he assumed his role of chaplain at Union College in 1982, Carlson and one student worker managed all the programming for Campus Ministries. Now the office has grown to engage a staff of 35 students leading in all areas of ministry, including vespers, worship, missions and outreach activities. “This gives them leadership training and keeps what we do current to the needs of students,” he says.

Carlson is quick to clarify for anyone who asks that he has only two duties—providing the environment and the opportunities that allow students to lead. He seeks out students with a passion for ministry, then works with them to make sure they have the resources they need to succeed as they dedicate their skills and energy to Christ.

Talking to Union students, it’s easy to find stories of how Carlson’s leadership style has changed their lives for the better. Jesse Evert, now a junior education major, recalls coming to Union as a freshman and looking for a way to belong and get involved in ministry. Carlson heard about Evert’s interests in script writing and acting and approached her to write and direct the annual Easter Pageant during Homecoming weekend, which she did with the help of her best friend.

“That experience opened the door for me to work in Campus Ministries for a year and a half,” Evert said. “All because Pastor Rich saw something in me and thought he could help me make a difference.”

As he works with students interested in pastoral ministry and chaplaincy, Carlson encourages them to build a team before moving forward in ministry. “Working with Pastor Rich has taught me to extinguish the corporate idea of delegation—the concept of demanding work from employees,” said Abner Campos, a senior theology major. “Instead, he invites us to empower, because it is through empowering that we experience the intersection of our gifts, passions, and calling.”

According to Gina Creek ’03, Carlson is the best leadership mentor she’s ever encountered. Now director of leadership development at Adventist Health System, Creek said, “Before Pastor Rich, I always saw myself as another face in the crowd. He helped me hear the call of God on my heart.”

He also encouraged other employees to become spiritual mentors through his innovative HeartScan program. Interested students meet throughout the semester with a spiritual mentor who helps them develop a spiritual growth plan instead of keeping track of regular worship program attendance.

Back in 1995, Carlson began writing a daily email to everyone on campus—most often a devotional thought based on a scripture passage he had been reading. He has faithfully emailed these messages every school day.

“Almost every day I get at least one e-mail from someone saying how God has used the thought for that day,” Carlson said. “Sharing the thoughts God brings me each morning gives my personal experience with God a purpose beyond just me.”

Originally published at www.ucollege.edu

Also published at www.adventistreview.org

I had a miscarriage. This is my story.

On the first of July, I had a miscarriage. It was the day after my 31st birthday. It was also the day we had chosen—under the guise of my birthday party—to announce to both of our families that we were pregnant with our second child.

It didn’t turn out the way we had planned.

We were in the middle of selling our house and moving to Kansas for my husband’s new job, so we took a week off work to get our house packed, doctors appointments complete and life in order. It was right after we gave our official notice to our current jobs that we took a pregnancy test. It was positive.

The ultrasound technician took a long time looking at the picture on the monitor. There was a little black bean, which she carefully pointed out was probably the placenta.

“How far along are you?”

“Eight weeks,” we said, all smiles.

“The reason I ask,” she explained, “is I can’t find a baby. And given how far along you are, that most likely means that you have already had or are going to have a miscarriage.” My smile froze. There must be a mistake, I thought. She doesn’t know. Except the thing was, I really didn’t feel pregnant. And I knew she was right.

I think back on this moment now and I still hate the word. Miscarriage. We had already picked out a name for the baby and were so excited to show the ultrasound pictures to our toddler son. We knew having a second baby (a girl, we were convinced) would rock our worlds, but we also felt prepared for anything.

The first time around, we had naively thought we would get pregnant as soon as we stopped using birth control. It took us six months to finally have a positive pregnancy test. During that time I thought I would unravel.

Now, I know a different unraveling. I know the numbness of losing something—someone—I never really had. I call my lost baby it sometimes. I hate that.

I press the small round indentation that my pants button has made in the soft flesh of my belly. I wonder, if my belly was round and full of baby, would I hate my body less? This body that betrayed me. This body that rejected the baby girl that I wanted, and then added a few extra pounds on top just because.

Because I’m not 18 anymore, and now periods don’t just signal being a woman in a coming-of-age type of way. It means being a woman who wakes up at 6am on a Monday with a pounding headache and the cries of my beautiful and relentless son. It means pulling on black slacks and sitting at a desk for the best parts of the day while my sweet son smiles at his daycare providers. Being a working mom means cramming in a few slices of carryout pizza before my son’s bath and bedtime. It means folding sheets and jeans and tiny socks at 11pm. It means work and weight and loss and being soft in so many ways.

The pain and the blood of the miscarriage surprised me. They told me it would happen naturally. It would be like a heavy period. I was soaking through a menstrual pad every hour. Then, after the bleeding subsided, the cramping came. It was like a hundred tiny fists pummeling my insides. We were out at the Amazing Pizza Machine with my husband and in-laws. My son and their children squealed and laughed together while they played in the arcade. I took six Advil and curled up on a bench for an hour.

Later that night while washing off in a hot shower, my hand brushed a jelly-like tentacle that was drooping out of my vagina. I screamed and called my doctor, thinking that the alien thing I was giving birth to was my dead baby. It wasn’t. It was, however, the remains of my baby’s placenta. After a few minutes on the toilet, I pushed out the alien like a big sad poop and flushed it down the toilet, together with the rest of the day’s waste.

Being a woman means doing grotesque things. And then you go about the day as if nothing happened.

Well-meaning people asked, “Do you know what caused it? Do you think it was maybe stress?”

And what then? Was my lifestyle as a working mom trying to make smart economic choices the cause of my miscarriage?

Later that week, I learned that my son and I would lose our health insurance effective July 11th, my last day of employment. The health insurance through my new job wouldn’t start until September 1st, and all health insurance plans on the Healthcare.gov marketplace wouldn’t start until August 1st at the earliest. So we bought a short-term catastrophic health insurance plan to bridge the gap between jobs. It cost $150 and carried a $10,000 deductible.

One of the questions the company asked before approving anyone for shoddy coverage is, “Are you pregnant?” Because in the non-ACA compliant short-term health insurance world, pregnancy is considered a pre-existing condition and is uninsurable. I checked the box, “No.” I was un-pregnant.

Now I don’t have another baby on the way, but at least I can be insured.

Now when they hear my story people say to me, “You’ll meet your baby in heaven.” Which makes it worse, somehow. Because it means she wasn’t just almost a baby. She was a baby. And knowing what I do about a baby’s cries and giggles and cuddles, I wonder…did she feel any pain before leaving me?

She would have been over 20 weeks by now, and growing her own eggs in tiny little ovaries.

 

(Originally published at Motherwell Magazine, https://motherwellmag.com/2018/12/03/i-had-a-miscarriage-this-is-my-story/)

Help for the Overstimulated! 5 Techniques for Easing the Stress

Stress and overstimulation can leave you feeling frazzled on a daily basis, but it isn’t easy to break the cycle. Life can be stressful, there is not way to avoid it.

However, you can put in the work to mindfully minimize stress by reducing the mental, physical and digital clutter that causes stress and distracts you from living well.

Go On an Information Diet

Feeling emotional highs every time your look at your phone, laptop, tablet, or TV is all too common. And ironically, it turns out that the media that feeds our craving for information is just giving us more of what we have already asked for in terms of our clicks and general online footprint and profile.

To tune out the rage and get to the heart of the matter, try going on an information diet. Instead of reading an online article about someone else’s opinion on a bill, for example, read the bill for yourself to form your own opinion. And block ads using an extension for Chrome, Firefox or Safari so that your visual space is less cluttered so that you can concentrate on the facts.

Streamline Emails

One of the most stressful things we deal with everyday is a barrage of “urgent” emails. First, change your social media settings so that you only receive a summary of notifications rather than individual emails. Next, instead of spending precious minutes reading and responding to or deleting each email individually, try unsubscribing from unwanted emails using the feature built into Gmail or Outlook.

And for those endless reply-all email chains at work, try muting specific email threads. The emails will be automatically archived for you without ever hitting your inbox unless someone in the thread emails you directly.

Protect Your Financial Security

Money usually scores first place in the race to stress us out the most. To put your mind at ease, try an identity theft protection service to make sure your identity and personal information is protected. With identity theft protection, you reduce your risks of ID theft and may gain some insurance to help you with legal fees and damages in case it does happen.

Surround Yourself with Calm

It’s hard to feel calm inside when your home or office is a hot mess. So try decluttering as a technique for reducing anxiety. Repurpose your used shopping bags by filling them with seldom-used items to donate or recycle. Or corral like-items in matching bins or baskets with labels for a sense of order.

Creating a decluttered environment will help you feel more confident and energized. Plus, it will give you the space and time to light a candle, throw on some music and relax before tackling your next project.

Journal

Get all of your thoughts out there before they drive you crazy. Try a bullet journal, a note-taking app on your phone, or a good old-fashioned notebook. This can help you prioritize problems and track day-to-day symptoms of anxiety so you can better control stress triggers. Journaling can also provide an opportunity for positive self-talk to counteract negative thought patterns.

It’s Worth the Extra Effort

No matter which technique you try first, the important thing is to try something. Whether it’s an information diet, streamlined emails, journaling, decluttering, or simple steps to secure your financial life, you’ll soon be on the road to a calmer life.

 

Originally published at https://www.identitymagazine.net/2018/06/15/help-for-the-overstimulated-5-techniques-for-easing-the-stress/

Nursery Painting Guide For New Parents

Expectant parents have a lot on their minds. Parenting styles, birth preference plans, car seat safety, health insurance, doctor’s visits, daycare options, diaper rash cream and a college savings plan, just to name a few. And among your top concerns? Creating a safe, soothing environment for baby. With so much to do before your little peanut arrives, you don’t have time to second-guess your nursery paint colors. Take the guesswork out of your nursery decor with this painting guide. From choosing calming colors to avoiding harmful compounds, rest easy knowing you’ve made the right paint choices.

Use Safe Paint

Your first and foremost concern for your new bundle of joy is safety. Unfortunately, many paints carry high concentrations of Volatile Organic Compounds (VOCs), which could cause negative health effects such as headaches, nausea, and eye, nose and throat irritation according to the EPA. To ensure your baby has minimal exposure to toxic pollutants, look for paint with low or zero VOCs. Just keep in mind that you may need to apply more than one coat, since VOCs affect performance. For even greater assurance, look for Green Seal Certified paint, which looks at raw materials and performance as well as VOCs.

Choose Calming Colors

You’ll be spending a lot of time in the nursery with your baby, so it’s important that you like the wall colors. Beyond your personal preference, you should also consider the mood that certain colors create. Yellow can feel cheerful and happy but, like red or orange, this playful shade could be too energetic to foster quality sleep. Instead, choose colors like white, green and blue for a calming effect. White can give the room a sense of purity and innocence, while the color blue suggests serenity and loyalty. HGTV recommends opting for a monochromatic palette to make the space feel more expansive. Complete the look with matching, noise-reducing curtains. Light-blocking curtains in a dark color could also help lower the level of light in the room to help with nap time.

Opt for an Eggshell Finish

Once you’ve chosen your color, you’ll need to choose your paint finish. A matte finish will hide imperfections better but will be difficult to clean. (Warning: cute and sticky jam fingers are coming for those candy-colored walls.) A glossy finish is easy to wipe clean but highlights any flaws in the painted surface. So unless you’re confident that your late-night painting session is up to professional standards, it’s best to avoid a high- or semi-gloss finish. Save that for your trim. A good compromise for hard-working nursery walls is an eggshell or satin finish, which is durable, stain resistant and hides imperfections well.

Consider the Light

The intensity and temperature of the light in a nursery depends highly on the direction the windows face. For example, a north-facing window will cast a cool, bluish light in the room all day, making blue walls feel too cold. Conversely, a south-facing window will cast a warm orange-yellow light all day, making bright walls too intense. New parents should also consider the amount of light the wall colors will reflect. Generally the more white there is in a color, the higher the Light Reflective Value (LRV). This indicates the percentage of light that is reflected — rather than absorbed — by the paint. If you want a nursery that is good for napping, it would be wise to consider a paint with a lower LRV.

5. Play with Pattern

An infant’s eyesight isn’t as developed as an adult’s, so your baby may not be able to discern between subtle shades of color. To provide appropriate visual stimulation, use contrasting colors in the nursery. You can achieve high color contrast that will fascinate your baby and aid in development by painting a striped or checkered pattern on the wall. Or get creative with a mod chevron or plaid pattern. Use painter’s tape for crisp lines on a simple pattern like stripes, or use stencils for more detailed or curved patterns like safari animals or tree branches.

6. Try a Mural

It may sound too ambitious, but painting a wall mural can be quite easy. Plus, murals are a great way to infuse some whimsy into the room without spending a fortune on expensive artwork. Simply rent or borrow a projector to cast the silhouette of a favorite cartoon or children’s book character on the wall, trace the shape’s outline with a soft pencil, and paint away. Use leftover latex paint from other house projects or acrylic paint from a craft store along with high quality synthetic brushes in several sizes.

(Originally published at http://www.house-painting-info.com/articles/nursery-painting-guide-for-new-parents/#.WguEq1WnHrc)

DIY Mother’s Day: 7 Ways to Celebrate with Less Stress

Here are seven ideas for how you can remove the stress of gift-giving and activity-planning from your family and plan your own perfect day with the ones you love.

1. Clean the house together

Okay, your family might not be psyched about cleaning the house, but you’ll be much happier if your nest is neat for Mother’s Day. (And if you’re happy, they’ll be happy!) Make it fun by organizing it like a game. Put together a list of tasks and promise a prize to the family member who completes the most chores in the least amount of time. Pump up the music and start a countdown. When it’s all over and the house is spotless, treat everyone to frozen yogurt.

2. Have gifts delivered

Instead of letting your family scurry for last-minute flowers and chocolate, put them at ease by choosing your own. Order a bouquet of your favorite flowers and a gourmet gift basket that’s piled high with all of your favorite indulgences. You won’t have to suffer through a box of drugstore chocolates plus you’ll have enough tasty treats to share with the family. Everyone wins!

3. Do a craft together

Let your hair down and make some great memories by making a mess together. Opt for craft projects that end in a beautiful, sturdy piece you can proudly display. Paint some terra cotta pots and plant flowers in them for your front porch. Or channel your inner Gaudi by creating a colorful mosaic paver for your garden. Don’t have the time to buy the art supplies? Go to a local pottery painting studio like Color Me Mine.

4. Pamper yourself and your family

No need to feel guilty about pampering yourself this Mother’s Day: take your family with you. Make an appointment for you and your husband to get a couple’s massage, or take your daughter to get a pedicure with you. If you have an active family, take them all for a day at the gym. Everyone can do the activity they like, and you can sneak in some quiet time in the sauna or hot tub to relax and unwind.

5. Go out to your favorite restaurant

Let’s face it: if your kids made you breakfast in bed, the eggs would be crunchy with shells, and at least one dish would end up broken. Why stress everyone out? Go out instead. Pick your favorite restaurant and make a reservation ahead of time since this is one of the busiest days of the year for brunch.

6. Plan a movie marathon

When was the last time you vegged out in front of the TV with the whole family? Unwind together by escaping into a fun adventure series that everyone can enjoy, like “National Treasure” or “Night at the Museum.” Or go retro with throwback favorites like “Star Wars” or “Back to the Future.”

7. Go on an adventure

Give your kids an afternoon of adventure by planning an activity you don’t normally do as a family. Rent tandem bikes and explore your city’s bike trails. For the lovers of mystery in your family, create a time capsule or go geocaching.Whatever you choose, take lots of pictures. Then compile a photobook on Shutterfly or Snapfish when you get home to commemorate your special adventures.

 

(Originally published at http://identitymagazine.net/2015/05/08/diy-mothers-day-7-ways-to-celebrate-with-less-stress/)

How to Furnish Your First Apartment (IdentityMagazine.net)

Facing the bare walls and empty space of your first apartment can be intimidating. Especially the night before you invite your best friends over and you realize they will have nothing to look at. Or sit on. Well, it’s time to furnish  your first apartment.

With so many decorating options in front of you, it may seem like cultivating a warm and intimate home environment is a slow process that may not end until your lease is up. Here’s how to make your new space feel like a home and get a jumpstart on furnishing and decorating your first apartment.

8 Tips on How to Furnish Your First Apartment

1. Sturdy Staples

The first must-have items you should invest in are a sturdy bed, table and chairs. The best bang for your buck is a hand-me-down or a Craigslist purchase which you can easily freshen up with a coat of primer and black or white paint in a semi- or high-gloss finish.

2. Wall Tapestries

One of the fastest and easiest ways to add artistic flair to your apartment is to hang wall tapestries. Mandala tapestries are remarkably therapeutic, making your living space feel open, while tapestries with a geometric or color block design can infuse your space with instant sophistication.

3. Unique Posters

For pops of color without the fine art price tag, look to vintage posters or art prints by independent artists. You can find great deals at AllPosters.com or Society6. Pick a theme or artist you like and buy at least four posters in similar sizes to hang in a collage. If you’re not afraid of losing your deposit, or if your apartment allows small holes in the walls, get affordable Ikea frames to hang.

4. Removable Wallpaper

To create a statement wall in a small space and still keep your security deposit, try removable self-adhesive wallpaper. With many pattern and color options on the market, you can quickly transform a blank wall into a space loaded with personality.

5. Bold Accents

Choose one to three bold accent colors for a few cozy throws, cushions and area rugs. Layer these on a neutral palette for a fresh, pulled-together look. Browse great, wallet-friendly options online at Zara Home or H&M Home.

6. Photos

Don’t delay in displaying photos of your friends, family and happy moments in your new apartment. In fact, research about therapeutic environments suggests that pictures remind you of who you are and make you feel more grounded. So put up a photo collage, clip photos on wires strung across a long wall, or create a DIY photo chandelier to hang from the ceiling in an empty corner.

7. Organization

Deciding on a system of organization will be the toughest part, but the comfort of an orderly home? Priceless. In fact, psychologists believe that organization helps you feel more in control of your life and gives you more mental energy. Then shelves or cube storage work great for organizing books, shoes, pantry items, entryway accessories or even clothes. Head to your nearest Container Store for inspiration.

8. Great Lighting

Nothing makes a space feel cozy quite like good accent lighting. In fact, experts agree that lighting can mean the difference between a pleasant, relaxed room and an unpleasant, tense room. So make sure you have at least one bedside lamp, and one or two lamps for accent or task lighting in your living space. A ceramic lamp base in an interesting color or shape can also double as a sculpture. There you have it, so check out Target or Lamps Plus for fun, affordable options.

(Originally published at http://identitymagazine.net/2017/02/12/furnish-your-first-apartment/)

3 Ways to Compromise When Living Together (HitchedMag.com)

Chances are you’ve already had a few private freak-outs about all the clutter your spouse has collected over the years. His vintage record collection takes up way too much space, and her nail polish alone will fill the bathroom vanity to overflowing. From shared expenses to shared shelf space, here’s how to compromise when living with your spouse.

Learn How to Speak to Each Other

When you find yourself taking an inventory of each other’s possessions, it’s easy to be ruthless with the other person’s “toss” pile. But don’t. Certainly your spouse’s college t-shirts don’t fit anymore; but they carry a certain nostalgia you don’t understand, and putting on the pressure to throw them out will only cause a rift between you. Instead, lead by example. Explain your rationale as you toss your own stuff. Try, “This used to mean a lot to me because (insert story here); but now I think it just takes up space that I’d rather use for making memories with you.”

If your significant other still isn’t getting the hint, talk to them about how living in a clutter-free space can actually improve your health and relationships. Then, instead of pointing out specific items you’d rather not live with, ask open-ended questions like “What sort of space do you envision for us?” and “What do you think fits in our apartment?”

Discover What’s Worth Compromising On

You don’t always have to agree on which takeout place to order dinner from, but when it comes to furnishing a space for the two of you, mutual agreement is sometimes crucial. And first on that list? The bed you sleep in every night together. Avoid making your bed a source of conflict by going mattress shopping together so you can find a bed that is comfortable for both of you.

Besides your mattress, try to compromise on other big pieces of furniture. If he’s been living with your leopard print sofa and you’re sick of his giant man-cave armchair, it’s time to reassess those pieces. Instead, consider some neutral pieces in classic shapes. Think black or brown leather, then accessorize with throw pillows and blankets in fun colors you both can live with.

Learn When to Stand Your Ground

While there is a place to compromise in most areas of a shared living space, sometimes it pays to stand your ground. Make sure you have that awkward money talk so you’re on the same page. And while you’re at it, talk about dividing up house chores equitably, too. The conversation is hard to get started but you’ll prevent a lot of resentment later on. Another non-negotiable? Date night… because your romantic relationship came before all this kind of stuff anyway.

 

(Originally published at http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=2716)

Healthy vs. Unhealthy Compromises for a Better Marriage (Hitchedmag.com)

If you’re in a relationship, there will come a time when you need to make a compromise. After all, you can’t be in a relationship strictly on your own terms. However, compromise isn’t always easy. Here are the healthy and unhealthy accommodations we make for our significant others.

Healthy Compromises

Dinner
Can’t decide what’s for dinner? Come to a compromise. A simple way to do this is by splitting up the weekday dinners evenly. She gets to choose what to cook on three days, he’s also in charge of meals for three days. For that last remaining day, dine out.

Date Night
He likes the theater, she likes movies. When the weekend arrives and it comes time to plan date night, choose an activity that both parties in the relationship can agree on. A good compromise for this conundrum is to see a movie-turned-theater show. There’s plenty of shows to choose from, and tickets can be purchased online and also at a discount.

Spending Money
How you spend your money can be a heated topic in any relationship. Married couples will need to come to a few compromises concerning money. Who will take charge of the finances? How much leisure money is there available to spend? Getting on the same page about financial goals—saving and spending is key to a healthy marriage. And if that means you have to forgo your designer shoe habit, so be it.

Responsibilities
Household chores, taking the dog for a walk, dropping of the kids at school; there may come a time when you need to make compromises or pick up the slack for your significant other. She might have an important work meeting early in the morning that requires some prep work, so he might have to drop the kids off at school. He may be stuck in traffic, so she may need to take the dog for a walk. These day-to-day responsibilities may not seem to be big compromises, but they are compromises nonetheless.

Unhealthy Compromises

Your Career and Dreams
Compromises should never feel like sacrifices. In a relationship you should never have to give up your career and dreams. If your spouse is pressuring you to do so, this is a red flag and you should have a serious conversation about how important your dreams and career goals are.

Your Family, Friends and Other Relationships
Family is important. If your significant other doesn’t like your family or is trying to pull you away from them, there are some serious issues you need to hash-out stat. Family, friends and important relationships should never be compromised—and a good husband or wife would never ask you to do so.

Your Core Values and Beliefs

No couple completely agrees on every single issue, whether it’s political or religious. Just because you have different beliefs does not mean that one of you has to change your way of thinking and living. You don’t have to agree on everything. A spirited debate is healthy now and then.

 

Originally published at http://www.hitchedmag.com/article.php?id=2719

6 Ways to Detox Your Laundry Room (MotherEarthLiving.com)

Americans want to be clean. And apparently we go a little bit overboard in that department. Case in point, 53 percent of people use more than the recommended amount of laundry detergent, according to Adam Lowry, co-founder of Method Products. This overzealous usage pumps extra chemicals into our water supply and wastes materials. To curb your environmental impact and start detoxing your laundry room, follow these six steps:

1. Use Natural Laundry Detergent

Traditional laundry detergents generally contain phosphates that help kill germs and improve overall washing performance. However, phosphates also damage surrounding aquatic environments. Instead, opt for natural laundry detergents, like Method or Mrs. Meyers, which are at least 85 percent plant-based and biodegradable, perform well in cold water, and use less (if any) fragrances, dyes, and optical brighteners.

2. Use Natural Stain Fighters

Rather than using harsh chemicals to fight grease stains, opt for a common kitchen ingredient to remove stains. Rub some salt, cornmeal or cornstarch on a grease or oil stain. Let it sit while you do other laundry, then brush away and wash as usual. For an ink stain, wet the item with cold water and apply a paste of cream of tartar and lemon juice. Let it sit one hour before washing. Wine spill? No problem. Just pour club soda on the spot, then sponge up both soda and wine before laundering. For blood stains, douse spots with hydrogen peroxide or diluted ammonia before rinsing in cool water.

3. Soften Your Water

You can use half your usual amount of detergent, switch from hot to cold water and still get better stain fighting power with softer water, according to the Water Quality Association. Using less detergent means less environmental impact in the chemicals and packaging materials used, plus less cost to the consumer. Softer water also prolongs the life of washing machines and water heaters by causing less scale build-up.

4. Skip Dryer Sheets

Air-dry clothing whenever possible to reduce energy use. However if you must use the dryer, skip the dryer sheets (and their accompanying cocktail of “fragrant” chemicals). A research study published in Environmental Health Perspectives found 29 unique volatile organic compounds in dryer-vent emissions, which are hazardous pollutants and possible sensory irritants. Since most of the individual fragrance ingredients are not usually listed on a product, it is safer not use dryer sheets at all. Instead, create your own DIY dryer sheetusing scraps of an old flannel sheet, white vinegar, and tea tree oil.

5. Unleash the Power of Vinegar

Vinegar has many versatile uses. In the laundry room, white vinegar is perfect to fight perspiration stains and urine. For perspiration, rub the stained areas with white vinegar before laundering. For pet urine, dampen the offending area with equal parts white vinegar and water and blot dry. And the cleaning uses of all-natural vinegar are almost endless, from sparkling silver to scuff marks on linoleum.

6. When in Doubt, Use Baking Soda

Baking soda is a naturally occurring non-toxic substance and helps to maintain an optimum pH balance. It can serve as a mild cleaning agent, deodorant, and abrasive to scrub, dissolve, and lift away dirt from tile floors, textiles, and appliances. Mix a half cup with a bucket of warm water to mop with, and add a half cup to regular wash loads to boost the laundry detergent’s cleaning power. Baking soda will also remove and neutralize odors (rather than masking them, like artificial fragrances). Sprinkle generously over a dirty clothes hamper to minimize offensive smells, and add to the load’s rinse cycle to combat persistent odors.

(Originally published at http://www.motherearthliving.com/your-natural-home/natural-laundry-zb0z1612)

Construction Company Risk Management 101 (Construction-Today.com)

The complexities and moving pieces in every construction company could intimidate any manager. Every job, every contract, every transaction is fraught with physical, financial and digital risk. But while risks can’t be eliminated entrirely, they can be managed and mitigated. Construction professionals need to make considerations, large and small, when successfully managing risk within their company.

Selecting Customers

Managing risk starts with selecting the right customers. Sure, it’s possible to take on all jobs from all customers, but if the customers don’t hold up their end of the bargain, the construction company may lose valuable resources fixing design flaws, re-doing work that wasn’t approved by the right person, communicating with several people in a disjointed chain of command or pursuing payment for a completed job. Good customers will be financially responsible, communicate project goals clearly and be responsive to any necessary changes. The best customers will designate a project manager to take responsibility for the entire process and coordinate with the construction company.

Financial Security

Aside from carefully reading each contract, construction professionals should also consider hiring an attorney to look over contracts to safeguard against any potential financial risks, especially for big projects involving multiple stages and contractors. Another way to protect the company from risk is to craft a well-written credit policy with guidelines to determine which customers can be billed later and to set the payment terms. When no payment occurs, the company should send preliminary notices to preserve lien rights and ensure payment.

Insurance

Obtaining the right insurance package can not only provide peace of mind, it can also save construction companies from multiple unexpected risks. Large companies should consider subcontractor default insurance, contract surety and claims advocacy. No matter the company’s size, the design professionals, contractors and subcontractors involved in the project should carry auto and commercial general liability insurance as well as workers compensation insurance.

Digital Security

With a growing dependence on technology, today’s construction companies face daunting digital security challenges. Client lists, contracts, intellectual property and financial records could all be vulnerable from an external or internal attack. Companies can guard these invisible assets with passwords, backup and recovery and malware protection. Even more importantly, regular procedures should be put in place to monitor and report any discrepancies or dangers, such as changing passwords when employees leave.

Physical Safety

Everyday, 6.5 million people work at about 252,000 construction sites across the country, according to the U.S. Department of Labor. For each site, many more hazards await the unsuspecting construction company: falls, collapses and electric shocks make the construction industry one of the most dangerous in the nation. Because of this, locks on equipment, safety inspections on all operating equipment and safety training for employees are musts for managing risk at any level. Additionally, construction companies should perform a thorough health and safety risk assessment before starting any job. Once the most feasible risks have been identified, appropriate safety measures can been deployed. Contingency plans should also be put in place for emergencies, such as maintaining fire-fighting equipment on site.

Fraud

Among the many security liabilities construction professionals face, fraud can be easily overlooked but is just as easily prevented. For example, internal and external check fraud can be prevented by using checks with built-in state-of-the-art security features. The toner adhesion, chemically reactive paper, prismatic multi-colored backgrounds and invisible fluorescent fibers built into QuickBooks Secure Plus Voucher Checks can significantly diminish the chances of fraud.

(Originally published at http://www.construction-today.com/editor-s-blog/2889-construction-company-risk-management-101)

9 Uses for Roses In Your Home (ADelightfulHome.com)

Roses are sweet in many ways. They will brighten up your home while on display and can also be used around your home to improve health, to enrich your life with beautiful crafts, or to host elegant teas or luncheons.

HEALTH BENEFITS

Roses have some powerful medicinal and therapeutic properties, which can be utilized in combination with other plants.

Detox: Rose petals can have a detoxifying effect when combined with green tea. For glowing skin with reduced acne and a smoother, lighter complexion, combine rose water with green tea leaves, flour, milk powder and turmeric. Apply the mask to your face and let sit for 15 minutes, then rinse with warm water.

Tone and moisturize: Add a tablespoon of rosewater to one cup of distilled water for a gentle toner to soften skin. Alternatively, use rosewater to re-hydrate a sunburned face, or to clear redness from acne-prone skin.

Anti-inflammatory: For a natural anti-inflammatory and antibacterial face mask, simply mash rose petals with water and honey, then apply to face.

CRAFTS

With their naturally beautiful and soothing scent, it’s obvious why roses carry such universal appeal. Bring this appeal into your home permanently by using dried rose petals in decorative crafts around the house. To reap the full benefits of roses, order a high-quality rose bouquet from FTD. Once it’s past it’s prime, use it for these projects:

Dried flower bouquets: Instead of rushing your flowers to the garbage when they start to wilt, hang them upside-down from cupboard doors or a chalkboard in the kitchen with twine or ribbon and clothespins. Once the flowers have dried completely, leave them hanging or place them back in the vase. The dried buds will add a splash of color and a vintage vibe to inspire visitors.

Scented sachets: Dry rose petals, lavender or other flowers for sachets. Sew little bags out of clean cotton fabric and scraps of lace. Fill the bags about half full and tie shut with a thin ribbon. Use the sachets to fill dresser drawers, or send sweet “thinking-of-you” notes to your mom, sister or best friends.

Votive candle holders: Create beautiful votive candle holders in just a few easy steps. First, press flower petals in waxed paper between the pages of a heavy book. Then, choose a shot glass or other small glass container to decorate. Gently smooth decoupage glue onto the clean surface of the glass, then smooth out the dried petals in a loose design of your choice. Paint over the project with one more layer of glue to set the petals permanently.

EDIBLE IDEAS

Want to add a new element of elegance to the parties you host? Try recipes infused with cool, sweet homemade rosewater. If you choose this option, be sure the roses you’re using are food-grade, meaning they were grown without the use of pesticides.

Rose whipped cream: Celebrate a Sunday afternoon with the girls in your life by setting a proper English tea with a Persian flair. Serve scones with rose whipped cream instead of the traditional clotted cream.

Rose lassi: Cool down a hot Indian curry recipe with a delicious rose lassi. Simply combine rose water in a blender with yogurt, sugar, cardamom and ice cubes for a smooth treat.

Sugared rose petals: Surprise your kids with a cupcake decorating experience more memorable and grown-up than the classic fondant or piped icing: sugared rose petals. The recipe is simple, and the finished petals will beautify any cupcake.

(Originally published at http://adelightfulhome.com/9-uses-for-roses-in-your-home/)

The Future of Voting: Holograms, Fingerprints, Iris Scans and More (21stcentech.com)

Say “goodbye” to Tom Cruise and “hello” to Chief of the Department of PreCrime, John Anderton, because the world depicted in the movie, “Minority Report” may become a reality. From fingerprints to holograms, emerging technologies are rapidly gaining momentum in banking, shopping, socializing and now voting. Unlike the politics of the past, voting and campaign processes of the future will be much more automated, and the technological innovations will change democracy.

Hologram Campaigns

Holograms are not just for “Star Wars” Emperor Palpatine anymore. In fact, the use of hologram technology in politics was pioneered in 2014 by Indian Prime Minister Narendra Modi, who campaigned successfully appearing live in 3-D at multiple rallies across the subcontinent simultaneously. In doing so, he was able to reach a vast population in a short amount of time, a feat any politician would welcome. In future elections, politicians can take this technology to the next level, providing tailored messages to voters door-to-door, according to David Plouffe,  former assistant to the President and Senior Advisor in Barack Obama’s 2008 election campaign.

Electronic Voting

Electronic voting could become the predominant method of voting in the near future in the United States and Canada. Already used in some 31 countries today, technologies include Direct Recording Electronic Systems, Electronic Ballot Printers, Optical Mark Recognition and Internet Voting Systems. These technologies demonstrate advantages because they “create opportunities for a more inclusive election process,” according to the National Democratic Institute. For example, voters with visual impairments can use audio technology for explanation of the process, or they can adjust font size to better read the ballot. Voters who don’t speak English could choose an option to vote in a language they prefer. And eligible voters residing in other countries, ex-patriots working overseas and military personnel, could dispense with absentee ballots.

Fingerprinting

Biometric data, such as fingerprints, can be used for voter ID and for marking electronic ballots in the near future. Some countries are already adopting this strategy. For example, more than 21 million fingerprint identifications were used by voters to verify their identity in Brazil’s 2014 national elections. The Electoral Court System in Brazil aims to achieve 100% voter participation using biometrics by 2018.

Iris Recognition

Known as IR, this method of recognition uses the unique shape of your eye’s iris to identify you. The FBI already considers IR a quick, accurate form of identification. It could eventually become a U.S. law enforcement standard for ID. Maybe it can replace fingerprints. In any case, it conceivably can be used to confirm voter ID for the voting process.

Facial Recognition

Starting this summer, Wells Fargo is unrolling a new face and voice recognition system for its customers’ sign-on.  Users will login by framing their face within a box on their smartphone screen and then they will be asked to read a series of numbers. According to NEC.com facial recognition is believed to be superior to many other identity markers because it requires no physical contact. It’s no stretch to see it one day becoming a method of verification for Internet voting.

Targeted Campaigns

Once your biometric data is in a government database it is conceivable that the information could be used for targeted campaigning during election cycles. Imagine walking into a store, having your face recognized at the door, your identity confirmed and your voting record in past elections accessible. Could you end up being besieged by holograms of political candidates interacting with you while you shop or visit an office? Without privacy constraints such an outcome is possible in the near future.

Voter Fraud

The privacy concerns regarding all of the technological innovations described above are substantial. And as new technologies emerge to make voting more automated, so will we see greater vulnerability to the hacking of the electoral process. Expect online security and identity theft protection to become even more prevalent as a result.

(Originally published at http://www.21stcentech.com/future-voting-holograms-fingerprints-iris-scans/)